Cool Things to Know About Radiation Therapy

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Allison, Ashley, Dave and Deb

Meet my radiology techs: Allison, the Diva – Divine, Inspired, Vivacious and Anointed;  Ashley, who may be in the witness protection program;  Dave The Wealthy Writer, who only works for the fun of it;  and Deb, who just wants to play with her 5 year old son.   They are standing in front of  the fifth team member – “The Machine”.

Every week day for 33 days,  I had the pleasure of meeting with these professionals at 7:40am.  Radiation therapy was the prescribed treatment as an “extra precaution” to make sure there were no lingering cancer cells hanging out in my breast.

I just might be in denial, but I’ve never been able to say I have breast cancer.  My theory:  I had cancerous cells located in a cyst in my right breast.  By the time I KNEW about those cells, they had been removed.  So, by my estimation, I HAD breast cancer, but now I do not.  Call it semantics – it works for me.

Fortunately, the type of cancer cells found in my breast were DCIS – ductal carcinoma in situ (everybody referred to this as the “good” kind).  Seriously, that phrase “the good kind”,  is one of many that should never be used with cancer patients.

Here are a few others . . .

“We’re all going behind that lead wall.  There’s a mic on the machine.  Call us if you need anything – anything at all.”

“Are you going to be alright?”

“This machine is acting up today.”

(Directed to me while I’m lying on this monstrous machine waiting to be slightly irradiated for the fifth time) . . . “You say you’re  experiencing headaches? That’s not a typical side effect.  Perhaps your blood pressure gets a bit elevated when you come in.  Are you under any stress?” (explicative deleted)

“Your skin is holding up well.  Why, your skin was just MADE for radiation.”

“I know you’re stressed.  How ’bout we go for a nice, 90 minute  hot stone massage?”

On the other hand,  these are always winners:

“How was your therapy today?”

“Now we have to find a semi-nude beach.”

“By the time I finished my therapy,  I’d lost 10 pounds – not bad.”

“When you’re done, we’re gonna celebrate!”

“Nana, does your boobie hurt (while gently patting my chest with her tiny, fat little fingers)?”

“I will give you a dollar if you ask your radiology oncologist if your boob will ever glow in the dark.”

“Better enjoy it.  This is your last one.”

Experiencing sickness and dis-ease is never easy.  The degrees of difficulty are vast and unpredictable.   What I know for sure  (I’ll bet its gonna cost me something for using that phrase) is that attitude makes all the difference. The entire staff at the Cancer Center were all trained in the art of human being.  Their attitude was “we know this isn’t normal,  but we’ll do whatever we can to make it pleasant”.

My attitude?  Make the best of whatever I get because I’ve finally learned that God is in it with me.  In the very middle of my tears,  my fears,  my pain,  my anxiety,  and especially my doubt,  He patiently waits for me to stop flailing about and turn to Him.   That . . .  is very cool.

(So,  does it actually burn?  Yes and No)

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